March 18, 2004
be an actuary
the thing that had me thinking about my future (again) was a video i saw from one of the actuary sites i frequent. it basically described what it means and what it takes to be an actuary. needless to say, although the video was only ten minutes long, it was enough to suck me in. a few seconds after it was over, i was thinking about my dream job again.
it has been my dream to graduate from college and be able to take a job in an insurance company as an actuary. i want this job, not only for the obvious financial reasons, but because it entails work which i think i'll love. mathematics has always been a passion, and although my love for it has waned throughout my years in college, i feel that the abundance of mathematics in the acturial field will boost my interest in it yet again. furthermore, i think that the job is a very progressive one. i feel that i won't be bogged down by the monotony of the work, since i get to advance at so many different levels. on the one hand, i will get to enhance my mathematical and technical skills. on the other, i will get to improve on my communication and social skills.
i have taken the first steps in realizing this dream, and it has not been easy (ask anyone who took the actuarial electives with me). especially now that at every opportunity, doubt strikes. at times i find myself asking: can i do it? can i really pass the numerous tests? what if i fail? what if no one accepts me? what if someone does? what next? what if i realize i don't want this after all? am i capable of sacrificing the time i can spend with my loved ones and with myself? these questions come one after the other in my mind. the sad thing is, i can't really silence these nagging voices. the only thing i do and will continue to do is to just push through with the plan. hopefully, i can find enough strength from myself and from the people around me to ward off the shadows that these doubts may cast.