April 28, 2004
missing movies madly
of course, this may stem from the fact that i'm always broke when i'm here back at home. there's no allowance, which is reasonable, given that i'm fed morning, afternoon, and night, and the lodging's always free. and although my parents want my brothers and me to scram while we're here, they don't really provide the necessary finances to accompany that directive. they don't expect us to go out and just window shop, do they?
besides this, though, i think my tendency to stay away from the outside world contributes greatly to my lack of davao movie experience. i've already written about my homeboyness in greater length somewhere, so i won't repeat it here.
oh well. my lack of cash and my aversion to the outside world dictates that i stay at home, and this is what i do. my movie-mad self can just go ahead and wish that something good will appear on hbo.
April 25, 2004
them who have chinky eyes
well, to be honest, fascinated is not the word i'm looking for. attracted is. there's just something with the chinese that attracts me to them at first sight. perhaps it's the way their eyes vanish when they smile. or the way their skin glows in the sun. or the way their hair flows smoothly through their shoulders. hee. isn't it obvious i'm quite smitten with them? i always have good first impressions of someone who i believe is chinese. it's now beyond bias. it has become something close to reflex. chinese, bam! 5 stars out of 5.
enough of this, though. hee. i'm smiling and i can't help it. i'm thinking of someone who has those chinky eyes. hee. gotta stop now.
summertime regrets and hopes
this is not a good thing, though. sometimes, i regret not applying for a practicum. one of my blockmates, oliver, accepted a job at pnb, and now he's currently being trained in risk management, a very important skill to be learned if ever i do plan to work in the field of actuary. well, let's just say that when he texted that to me, i became green with envy and purple with regret. i keep thinking that when the time comes to start applying for a job, people like oliver will have an advantage over me, since they have had the experience and the skill required to work in the field.
to add to all that worry, i really feel like a bum this summer. check the previous blog entry to see what i have been doing and you'll see that none of them can be classified as productive. my father is planning to enrol me in driving school tomorrow, so i guess that's something productive, but i doubt if that's something i'll write on my resume. sigh. i just knew that watching star circle quest and survivor will lead me to this state of mind.
however, there is a ray of optimism despite all these negativities. basing from my college experience, i found out that i am the type of person who needs to rest in order to function well. i did not go home this time last year and decided to just stay in the dorm. when first semester came, i was tired as hell (even during the first months), and hence my grades took a downfall. i took a much needed three-week semestral break after that, however, and since that break was one of the most enjoyable breaks i have ever had, my spirits soared by second semester, and hence, my grades soared, as well.
what's the point of these examples? well, the point is this: if a three-week break can refresh me for the next semester, what more can a two-month break do? i believe that this rejuvenation will be a great factor in the last two semesters to come. i'm graduating next year, and as they say, it's crunch time. i'm vying for cum laude. right now, i'm still at the level of with honors. i need all the rest i can get to prepare myself for the tough times ahead. after all, i'm really not competing with anybody. i'm competing with myself.
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