April 03, 2004
internet cafe
anyway, the internet cafe of the day award goes to browzer, an internet cafe in front of ateneo de davao university (college). it's far from my house, but i just accompanied my father and my brother who had their hair cut in the barbershop beside this place. the internet's fast, although not as fast as the internet connection back in the dorm; the screen's a little bit dark, and when i attempted to increase the resolution, i couldn't read my blog at all; the cd drive's 48X max, and the floppy drive's covered by a strip of bond paper to prevent access; the keyboard's got a temper i couldn't quite control. the keys jump when i type on them. sigh.
hee. i just gave a weird analysis of an internet cafe's computer. the heat must be getting into my head. or maybe i'm beginning to miss manila just 2 days into my vacation. this makes me wonder if i'm going to write longing for dorm anytime soon. hopefully not. i just need to do something here because i'm not doing anything, and my body must be yearning for work. stupid body.
April 02, 2004
24
see last entry for blog.
and now, our feature presentation:
10:00 PM, March 31
eliazo study room. math tutorial with candace. she was studying for her nmat exams, and she asked some help with the math section of the test (good luck for the nmat! you can do it! 99+, here candace comes!). ate in red panda right after with aa, candace, and alfredo. no one got food poisoned. went back to the dorm.
1:00 AM, April 1
cervini room 207. looked at the mess in sight. started planning Operation Clean-up. took shirt off (feeling macho), and began sorting out folders and placing them in a huge balikbayan box. took out books from shelves and placed them in another box. fished out clothes. separated them into two places: in my luggage, and in yet another box. eventually wiped out traces of kerwin in my room. evidence eliminated. done by 4 AM. slept.
6:00 AM, April 1
dorm. woke up. took a bath. wrote a letter regarding the claiming of my grades. called for a taxi. inside the domestic airport by 8:00 AM. was not mugged by taxi driver, who was really nice.
10:00 AM, April 1
airplane. villainess number 1 in sight. zha xung lei, aka chinese stranger. with 3 kids for back-up. one of the kids were stationed two rows behind my seat, while the chinese stranger and her two other kids were in the seats beside mine. chinese stranger seemed fine with this. but nice stewardess was distraught with the idea of separated kids. asked me nicely to exchange seats with back-up kid number 1. agreed. chinese stranger mustered her dark look pose and refused to thank me. was irritated instead. ugh. lift-off.
12:00 PM, April 1
davao city. home. waited for luggage. villainess number 2 in sight. donna victorina, aka i'm-such-a-socialite-bitch. she was talking to her father in alabang. you know, alabang. her cart was blocking my stroller. moved around the cart to pull the stroller from behind. i said "excuse me" very very nicely. i'm-such-a-socialite-bitch must not have heard. my hand touched her bag briefly. one nanosecond. i timed it. she grabbed her bag, clutched it to her chest, and said "AY!". she then proceeded to look at me with her disgusted-you-are-so-low-i-even-thought-you-were-a-thief look. i was disgusted, as well. smiled a little smile that forced me to use the elasticity of my face for polite hypocrisy. left the airport. went home.
10:00 PM, April 1
bangkal, davao city. house. sleepy. slept.
March 30, 2004
journals and blogs
i had fun with it. i had so much fun with it, in fact, that it turned out to be a very dangerous thing. yep, it eventually contained almost all the secrets that i could put to print and get hanged for. i didn't worry, though. it was safe with me. i trusted my previous roommates (they're not the type to snoop around my stuff), and besides, i kept it well-hidden.
my love for it, however, waned around february of 2002. if i recall correctly, it was around valentine's day that i decided to stop. not that that date mattered or had anything to do with my loss of interest, but... there you are. i just didn't feel like writing anymore.
there were, of course, other journals before and after the first official journal, but these weren't "official" in nature. they lacked the comprehensiveness and duration needed for me to consider it official. sometimes they were just tidbits reminding me of some interesting events. sometimes they felt like the start of another official journal, but i ended up losing interest in them even just after a few days' time. brandnewwreck (my other not-so-dearly departed blogsite) is one these failed writing conquests. i found another one inside my computer, locked and password-protected. this journal just contained three entries. as i was reading it, it made me laugh, it made me sigh, it made me feel nostalgic of the years gone by (that rhymes!). the dates of the entries? march 30, 31, and april 1. yeah, it was this mini-journal which prompted me to write about it in this second official journal of mine in the first place.
here is an excerpt:
March 30, 2003, 4:34 AM
I really don't know why I'm going to start this journal thing again. This ended a year ago, and even though I continued writing, the gaps between the dates were growing increasingly large. Until, of course, I finally stopped. I guess the fire within me died.
I used to write so passionately in that journal. Almost every night during the second semester of my freshman year in college, I wrote. I wrote about everything: my grades, my parents, my friends, the hellishness of ROTC and biology, the heaven of Spanish and math. Each thought was separated by a dot in the middle of the space, every event was written within the safety of the lines. Almost every night for eighty nights. That may not mean so much for the average autobibliographer, but hey, I'm no Drew Barrymore. It's tough writing, but it was fun. It really was. Then it was gone.
Why? I guess so many things occupied me after that. Maybe it was the finals, or the multitude of exams I had to take. Or maybe it was an unknown and unseen force at work, pulling invisible strings to create a new Fate-patterned design. I don't know the answers to these things. I just lost it.
The last "real" entry was on February 15, the day after Valentine's. I think I even entitled the entry as such: The Day After Valentine's. Oh no, nothing memorable happened during Valentine's Day, just ate out with the guys from Cervini. Friends. [some stuff omitted - kerwin]
Anyway, the day before Valentine's, I was already looking for someone new to be with [some stuff omitted - kerwin] for that day. Nothing special about it, really, just wanted to be with someone else for the occasion. I texted the people in my phonebook (those I liked, anyway), but they had prior plans. So in the end, it was just me and the Cervinians having dinner at Ken Afford.
(Hey. I'll continue this tomorrow, I feel rather really sleepy now. Good night. -Kerwin, at 4:55 AM.)
sorry for the omissions. the text was incriminating me. hee.
March 28, 2004
some reminders
resolution: i should stop slacking off. i should stop procrastinating. i should stop facing the computer (unless it's for work). really. the internet's all that i immerse myself in lately. as if i didn't have anything else to do! so here are some reminders for me. if i'm able to do these within the next few days, i might actually get to relax (for real) and just wait for april 1 to arrive:
1. list down the march attendance of the dormitory assistants, and write down the report before tuesday ends.
2. finish the dormitory scholars' manual before tuesday, as well.
3. give nina, my deputy head, all the stuff she needs for the summer and 1st semester sign-ups and registration.
4. encash the checks.
5. clean the room and place all of my stuff in boxes.
6. return the vcds to video city.
7. give the laundry van man (mang jerry) my laundry.
8. pack my bags.
i guess that's pretty much it. i pray that i'll be done by wednesday, because i'll be going places and buying pasalubong for my family at that time. sigh... no more tests and yet i still have all these? what-a-lyp.
all about movies
anyway, i won't go much into nitpicking the film, as this is not one of my movie reviews. i just think the film provides a great excuse to profess my love for movies. yes, i'm a movie lover (perhaps a "bad-movie-lover" at that). every week for the past two years i have never failed to watch at least one movie. i've tried my best to keep track of them, but somewhere between matrix revolutions and the hulk, i lost count.
so many movies, whew! and i have no desire to stop. i think that movies for me are outlets by which i release all the tensions brought by the academic and emotional stresses of a college life. especially now that i have the independence, the finances (hee), and the company to back me up, i don't think i will ever stop. movies are fascinating things, and my engagement in them is even more fascinating still. sometimes, i just wonder how many hours i have spent in moviehouses, worrying whether we could get the front seat, resisting the urge to go to the comfort room, controlling the intake of popcorn lest we'd be left with none even before the trailers end, smiling, weeping, laughing. i wonder if it was all worth it. and if it wasn't, i wonder what it was that i could have done.
interesting questions really, but the answers aren't really within my reach. who cares, right? people have accused me of being too serious, of thinking too much, and i guess they're right... for now. right now, all that is that i can do is to sit back, relax, and watch a movie.
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