March 13, 2004

longing for home

joseph in his blog said that he missed the philippines. well, i don't really miss the philippines, since i'm already here, but i sure miss davao. i went home last christmas, and three months may seem short a time to be whining about going home again, but sometimes things get lonely around here. not alone, there are always people here to talk to, to engage with, but lonely. like there's an emptiness inside that itches and nags. then again, it's not always like this. one of the greatest blessings in my life is having people who care and actually look out for me. and if they're not there, there are always the acads to think about (and God knows how much of that i've been balancing lately). but the thing is, these people have their own lives, and sometimes they're just simply far away. and there are times when acads do nothing to alleviate this emptiness (especially if what you're doing borders on the mundane and the nonsensical). it is during these times of inactivity that i feel this urge to go home the most.

unlike in manila, i don't feel detached in davao. this may sound deep, but really it's not. i just feel that everything connects there. i have my family, i have my friends, i have things that busy me (no matter how trivial they are), i have things that relax me. and everyone and everything is within my reach. i go home each day to find a family who loves me and whom i love back. my brothers may annoy me to no end, but i know that they care about me. my parents may constantly reprimand me (and most of which is certainly true), but beneath all these i know how proud they are of me. and of course my friends, if ever they come home from their respective universities, are just a phone call away.

of course, davao itself is one of the reasons why i want to go home. manila's the place for opportunities, but davao's the place to be. i don't know if i have said this already or not, but davao is really a beautiful place. i'm really glad that we settled there after years of treading new grounds. the air, the water, the people, the place... everything feels so peaceful and calm.

thankfully, it's already march. a few weeks from now and i'll be back in davao, frolicking in the beach while watching kuya scaring kenneth with his creepy "shark" attack. and of course, with me laughing heartily all the while.

posted by kerwin ray :: 7:24 PM :: ""