April 25, 2004

summertime regrets and hopes

these past few days, i have been texting my other blockmates to inquire about their plans for summer. a few of them are taking up summer classes, and others are working in different companies for their practicum. as a rule, math majors are not required to take summer classes. neither are they required to take practicum. i guess i'm the only one who followed the curriculum.

this is not a good thing, though. sometimes, i regret not applying for a practicum. one of my blockmates, oliver, accepted a job at pnb, and now he's currently being trained in risk management, a very important skill to be learned if ever i do plan to work in the field of actuary. well, let's just say that when he texted that to me, i became green with envy and purple with regret. i keep thinking that when the time comes to start applying for a job, people like oliver will have an advantage over me, since they have had the experience and the skill required to work in the field.

to add to all that worry, i really feel like a bum this summer. check the previous blog entry to see what i have been doing and you'll see that none of them can be classified as productive. my father is planning to enrol me in driving school tomorrow, so i guess that's something productive, but i doubt if that's something i'll write on my resume. sigh. i just knew that watching star circle quest and survivor will lead me to this state of mind.

however, there is a ray of optimism despite all these negativities. basing from my college experience, i found out that i am the type of person who needs to rest in order to function well. i did not go home this time last year and decided to just stay in the dorm. when first semester came, i was tired as hell (even during the first months), and hence my grades took a downfall. i took a much needed three-week semestral break after that, however, and since that break was one of the most enjoyable breaks i have ever had, my spirits soared by second semester, and hence, my grades soared, as well.

what's the point of these examples? well, the point is this: if a three-week break can refresh me for the next semester, what more can a two-month break do? i believe that this rejuvenation will be a great factor in the last two semesters to come. i'm graduating next year, and as they say, it's crunch time. i'm vying for cum laude. right now, i'm still at the level of with honors. i need all the rest i can get to prepare myself for the tough times ahead. after all, i'm really not competing with anybody. i'm competing with myself.

posted by kerwin ray :: 3:50 PM :: ""