May 09, 2004

grief...

grief occurs not only to people whose loved ones have died, but even to those whose loved ones have said goodbye. it is a profound sadness that lingers. it stays in every text message, in every tv show, in every book. it remains in everything that you and your loved one has shared.

you try to deny the loss, but it does not help. the tears, if they come, just become more bitter; the rage just becomes more intense. at the very end of it, you'll feel tired. you'll feel hopeless. you'll feel angry at everyone around you. even those whose words are full of good intentions. even those whom you love.

everything revolves around this person at this point. no one else matters. you want to isolate yourself, to isolate your thoughts, to isolate the memory of the person. but you cannot do that. you must appear strong to the people around you. you do not wish to do so, but you must. for the sake of others with wills weaker and emotions stronger than yours. this pretension is for them. this illusion is for them.

this grief has no end in sight. but they always say that with grief comes acceptance. when that acceptance will come, you will never know.

posted by kerwin ray :: 12:47 PM :: ""